Showing posts with label #yalit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #yalit. Show all posts

Friday, March 27, 2020

"[...]That deep, dreamy, raw place where conviction and commitment meet". #dreams #destinations #letters #bloggerexposure]






In response and respect to Blogging exposure's 27 March prompt about

Letter to your dream/destination [the link previous is the general Letterwriting prompt - thanks Emilia from My inner mish-mash and others for writing such good letters]

The quote goes on from That deep, dreamy, raw place where conviction and commitment meet:

Right now, that place embraced the whole of me and disgraced me out of my inertia this morning. That place was crackling with energy, ready for a workout. When it got its workout, I would be so ready to take on the world and feel better about myself and other people.
And with that paragraph our dreamer/narrator transfers from the bedroom to the dining room.

That sequence happens to be one of the things I was proud of writing - and hopefully living - in the 2000s.

[#ithurttoliveithurttowrite #lenorenicklin #thebulletinmarch1992 #atwarwiththeworld #twentyeightyearsagonow]

Yes, the early 2000s. January 2001 or February 2001 from the internal evidence [of perhaps the previous scene or two - if not a little earlier]. And there is some external evidence. I made a cover from a Nova picture about the beach with a man and a boy. That cover was dated 6 January 2001. And I wrote that date into the webpage's header.

Some of the things might be a little later like objects are created by people and the comment about a certain divergent thinker with Austrian roots who got into the Anglophone consciousness twenty years before the writing and a few years after he died.

Whether that thinker is in the Francophone consciousness... I will not go there today.

Now I obviously had an idea about where that piece was going. And where the narrator was going and where I-as-author was going. You know - a sense of destination.

What would constitute embracing and what would constitute disgracing and the whole workout that it would take and what it would be to be crackling with energy.

And there was a reference to a philosopher I had barely known in 1998 - Soren Kierkegaard - he's the one who talks about despair and dread and was one of the first Existentialists. I met him in Sophie's World which is by Jostein G.

Kierkegaard talked about these three stages - and most of the characters can skewer stage theory when they need or want to or when it just doesn't suit them. Pun nearly intended. There is a barbecue.

[and those gatherings of 5-10 people would not be allowed now! Not here in 2020! and not in the next six months either].

It answers the question: Do geopoliticians ever dream? Are you allowed to dream/am I allowed to dream now that I'm a geopolitician?

Before you say: Of course geopoliticans are allowed to dream!

That whole paragraph is about destinations - to which destiny is strongly tied together; choice - one of the characters says I want reality. I want equality. I want choice. [actually they said it the day before when they were trying to justify what they were doing and what they wanted for the future].

And tolerance - three of the middle sentences are directed to it. The ones about effort; achievement and commitment.

The Deep, Dreamy, Raw place - yes, all three of those qualities inform and shape each other - is a place which can be close to heaven or a fast track to hell.

I say often that dreams are funny things. Whether you dream them in the day or in the night ...

And when I think of that whole quote - beyond the one in the header - there is a lot of force there. And it is almost religious in its fervour. It was only meant to be humanist and philosophical. You know - taking on the world and feeling better about yourself and about other people? And what it took, again, to get there.

People who can be liars and xenophobes - and let's face it - purloin psychology to be a shadow of itself and to be a shadow of themselves.

It's about a world of people who are emotionally intelligent and morally expansive. #zonesofmoralconcern #emotionalintelligence #moralexpansiveness #caring #justice

People who care about their consciences and consciousness - both their own and those of others.

It's about a journey from charity to social justice.

It's about boys who raise crabs in the wild and put them into aquaria despite all the rejection - or at best limited acceptance - and make a way to initiate people into these mysteries in rockpools.

It's about honest discussions all the time. Discussions where de Bono and Piaget are mentioned like long-lost buddies or mates. de Bono is a very divergent thinker and uses mindsets and of course his Thinking Hats [our favourite thinking hat is the Yellow Hat closely followed by the Blue Hat - we find all the hats very waffo!]; Piaget thinks about moral development. #explainthislikeimnine #thelureofreward #thefearofpunishment #jeanpiaget #edwarddebono

And who stole whose thunder? That whole following your own impulses regardless of the demands of the environment. And wanting to know the bottoms and the depths of thinking.

And not wanting to miss out on Monty Python because of a "stupid prank" your brother played. Or on going to the market with a neighbour because one of your relatives-in-law is xenophobic or some other kind of -phobe/-misist.

Surely to feel is to behave and to behave is to feel - and that applies to people; animals; objects like glasses and trays and orange squeezers and knives and watches. If your watch becomes crotchety or tired I am not responsible. [because you forget to set him]. #centraleuropeantime #clockreading #clockwatching #ifyoubreakaglassyoushatteritsheart #baconandfriedeggsfortheeating

Where people can ask Is that photocopier a mechanical object or a technical object? and be heard out. [and then the whole Oh no! We're going in circles again!]

There is a bit of a Jungian moment about the anima and the animus and the imago - [...]Think about how the man in you would hate to be left out in the cold, or despised, or used.

And the song I was thinking of was sipping cocktails over breakfast in bed somewhere in Evita. Except in that house orange juice is had and made with squeezers. Three Valencia oranges, if you please! Is that not extravagance?

Also extravagant is the way that one of the characters jokes about the Black Plague. I would have to take up my younger self quite seriously about that one. I might write a letter to the Middle Ages or to some people in the Middle Ages or classes or groups of people - like knights and nuns and prioresses and the guy who works in Charlemagne's estate that Eileen Power wrote about back in the first third of the 20th century.

That same character enjoys lemon tea and cake.  

I believe that cake was from a few days before because everyone who lives or stays in that house practises delayed gratification when it comes to sweets and cakes especially when that cake was made and enjoyed over a weekend.

When it comes to hard candies procured from picture theatres and laid on the table - all bets are off.

And I would say the apex of human development is quite a destination. Especially when you keep smiling and keep it in perspective. Like one of the other characters is able to do after he has been, as he expresses it, "cheated out of my mates for the past two days".

Even more so when you had to experience lies; deceits; tears; tantrums; fear and worries to get there/come here.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

"Jump? How high?" - a researcher. Multiple researcher. #ftsf 🔐🖋✒️🦋▦

First and foremost and direct from my last [if you read that far down]: Springhole's COMMON BEGINNER WRITER MISTAKES when it appeared on the 15th October was positively providential - in the sense that it could have been written 'just for me'. Of course only universally good writing advice can do that; a bit like the Forer effect which is one you look upon when you try to think critically.

Now to the Jump? How high? part.

One day - 20 September 1990 - in a think tank near you: if you're in Sydney, that is, like Susan and Erik are - those two have been working in the think tank for the better part of two years.

[so the beginning is February 1989 and the end is 24 December 1990 - this is when most of the action of A cage of butterflies by Welsh-born Australian science fiction/young adult fiction author Brian Caswell takes place - as indicated by the first chapter].

I remembered that there was a Jump! part and someone replied How high?

You would think that these people would be ... more sceptical ... especially when we consider who we are dealing with.

A man whose nefarious deeds would have me hyperventilating and perspiring on a day in late March 1996.

So here are those lines from page 78 of A cage of butterflies:

Some setting first. Eucalypts and bark and leaf-grabbing are involved; especially from Susan when she is thinking. The ground is bare; as would be expected from this think tank.

Susan - If I could just persuade him to let me inside 
Forget it - Erik says - No-one goes in except the terrible twosome. How are the other researchers taking it?

SUSAN: THAT LOT? LARSEN HAS THEM WHERE HE WANTS THEM. HE SAYS ‘JUMP’, AND THEY SAY, ‘HOW HIGH’?

BESIDES HE’S ORGANISED IT PRETTY CAREFULLY.

THOSE HE COULDN’T SEND ON WILD-GOOSE ASSIGNMENTS HE GAVE A WEEK’S paid LEAVE.

THEY MUST HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS CHRISTMAS.
This is where the paragraphing and the emphasis diverge.

Here is a Queen Hammer to Fall from six years before the incident in the think-tank took place. [20 September 1984].

And that lot - the researchers - could jump at least as high as the Sydney Harbour Bridge by the time John Larsen is done with them.

Thank you Anna K for this illustration of the Sydney Harbour Bridge which is just right to jump and to climb.


I would quote some of the anniversary parts - the things that happened to the thinktankers and the Babies in 1989 [page 12: 21 October 1989] and 1990 [page 123: 21 October 1990] - some 30 years ago now.

Happy Grandparents' Day! Recently it has been Teachers' Day [25 October 2019] and Children's Day [24 October 2019].

And what a terrible; terrible mindset that is for a young researcher - or really, any researcher.

Here is another JUMP quote:

From high upon the cliff-top; Susan Grace tossed a small black box into the surf below and paused a moment to whisper a few words into the wind. Then she made her way back down into the waiting car; alone. [Caswell: 1992/160].

That paragraph made me think of The wind which Mariah Carey did as a cover in 1991.

And sadly there are no emoji of cages; not the literal kind nor the metaphorical kind. The closest I was able to come was a crosshatch.

All quotes are from the University of Queensland Press edition of A Cage of Butterflies.

I like what Gregory Rogers did with the cover. If you tear the butterfly from the face - you see a super large head. And the markings are very characteristic and unique.

An art project could be to capture the essence of each Baby - like I see Ian as a moth and Phetmany as a fritterary and Ricky as a spotted butterfly - maybe Monarch or Wanderer.

Myriam is the one who leads - and Rachael ...

This is a song which talks about the bond which developed - it is from Kinky Boots [Raise you up/Just be].

There is a great poem that Myriam got the youngest - Katie - to scribe.

In all the jumping; know first thyself. That's what the Delphic Oracle has to say on the matter.

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post for the week of 25 October 2019.

Friday, July 12, 2019

Mary K. Pershall #rcmentalhealth

Mary K Pershall

[twenty-six minutes into the hour - twenty minutes after JM] Pershall begins.

She has an American accent of course. [she grew up in Iowa? Idaho?]

“Mrs Pershall you made a statement to the Royal Commission”.

She talks about the exposure to the mental health system in Victoria through her daughter Anna.

Sit forward a little bit! Commissioners need to hear!

She is 30 [turning 31 this year/2019] - she has a really good relationship with her family and has positive work.

Dame Phyllis [Frost] Centre is a maximum security prison.

She killed someone.

Commissioner asks about Anna’s early years - and early childhood. Signs and symptoms.

Before she went to school she was a delightful and happy child who looked like a little fairy - she was off with the fairies.

She never begged people for toys - she asked for re-runs of the Addams family.

She wanted a hand that got things for you.

She was surprised when Anna asked for this thing.

Anna hated school from the beginning. She had been so happy before school.

After school she would cry.

Partly because she preferred to imagine things in the backyard with Duplo characters and she didn’t like being told what to do in a structured environment.

They didn’t appreciate her spider fantasies - she would prattle on - the children isolated and ostracised her.

She wasn’t physically bullied the Pershalls didn’t take it seriously [there is Mary and Katie her elder sister and maybe a father].

Being shut off the group was a hard thing for Anna’s development brain.

In early high school everyone else was trying to fit in. Anna tried to be happy.

Her family wanted her to smile and be happy at home.

When she was 14 [2002] she restricted her intake of food. Mary didn’t take too much - she has beautiful skin and didn’t want acne and had always been skinny.

Anorexia was around body image - Anna had never been concerned.

Watermelon and diet Pepsi was her diet - she agreed to go to the paed in the RCH.

Her condition was compromised - her heart was on a monitor at night. It was a shock!

She was treated as an outpatient until she was 18 and received excellent care and Mary is grateful to the health system.

She was seen once a week and the doctor is still in contact. For an hour each time - she was protective of that relationship and valued it highly.

She saw a RCH counsellor. [thirty-three minutes into the hour - seven minutes after the start]

Her teens were not trouble-free. She did find a friend and she was very attached to this friend - she would do anything to keep this friend on side.

She and her friend were walking down the street. Enraged Anna so much that the friend was paying attention to someone else

She kicked a thick plate glass window and the police called twice.

Anna had been train-surfing to impress this friend.

Setting boundaries was a message to Pershall - the counsellor was a support to John and Mary - especially the train surfing incident.

Anna is putting her life at risk - she is staying up most of the night. She was 16.

The summer before she went into year 11.

You have to go to bed at 2130 or 2200 - she agreed - Mary was uneasy.

There was a roll of bedding to look like a body - Anna had run away at 2300.

“Teenage runaway”

She had lived with her friends dad on the other side of the river with her friend.

She returned in time to begin year 11.

Pershall talks about those couple of years at uni which were her best.

She went to a senior secondary college and made more friends who appreciated her individuality intelligence and quirky sense of humour.

She went to university to study psychology and met a devoted young man. They still love each other to this day.

She became so sick that it didn’t work out.

They had hope that when she had been in so much pain - as she matured they hope it would get easier for her.

Third year of university - she started to say that people didn’t like her at university any more and it was too hard.

“Just get your degree - I won’t nag you to do anything else,” said her father.

Expected by family and others to get a job or do her studies [postgraduate].

She just didn’t know how to be an adult. [Let her be the kid she could never be!]

Promised her they wouldn’t nag her - she was still living with the boyfriend and the mother.

And they moved into the boyfriends’ house.

She stopped living with him. He still adored her-he couldn’t do anything with her.

Intelligent girl with a good vocabulary. Our tools were words; do this; try this.

We realised she was deteroriating with acholo and drugs.

She moved back when she was 24 - the extent of her a[lcohol] and d[rug use].

She didn’t have a glass of wine at night with her family.

It was mostly synthetic cannabis and she smoked bong after bong.

She moved home after a year living that kind of life until she was 25-ish?

She had a few markers - auditory and visual hallucinations - childhood fantasies?

Mental health was always fragile.

Cannaboids were very harmful to her brain.

An activity - getting dressed up and going on the train. That was one activity she enjoyed.

She looked a lot younger than she was - a size 14 child’s dress in Kmart.

She put on lots of makeup and was very attractive and her method was to talk to random guys and start a conversation.

They would give her drugs and attention and she would live with them.

John and Mary and Katrina wouldn’t know where she was.

She would be gone for days.

Towards the end of 2013 a man gave her ice on the train.

It was a terrible period - she came back a few days later in a very fearful state.

Look what this guy has done to me - cigarette burns.

Self-injury and she really liked ice and this guy.

She rang in a distress state - he’s holding me captive. I went to a neighbour’s house.

She was 95 kilometres away.

She went back to him a few days later.

He was going to kill her? That was the Pershall worry.

They could not restrain her - she had to let go.

Katie was the sister - calling the police - trying to get help through the mental health system.

Attach the words mental health to Anna - alleviate her pain they did their best.

She was slipping away further and further - there was no way to help her.

Reached out again to Dr D - hooked in with systems.

[So I missed about ten minutes of the livestream].

There is something about a box of knives and sharp edges. It is a constant strain.

December 2014 she was using ice - she couldn’t live in the home any longer.

She was scheduled to detox - she would get the maximum amount if she went blotto - for the 3rd time.

She would hook up with people on the Internet and dating sites so people could see her - they were drug addicts.

When was he going to come back?

Scary to be afraid in your own home.

They were apprehensive of her - Katie received calls that the parents were replaced by imposters.

These evil incarnations - [is this splitting?]

She was headed off to detox and met a guy for the weekend and smoking a lot of ice.

Someone rang and accused of horrible things. They had it they were exhausted.

You can’t live with us any more - the last time she was in the Pershall house.

She was admitted to a locked psychiatric ward - she couldn’t control herself and the Pershalls couldn’t.

3 hours later - she was in the emergency ward - she was picked up naked in a service station in Footscray.

They tracked down the service station and the nice young man who had been on duty - she walked in and asked if she could use the restroom and was totally naked.

And stripped by the door and was seen by people working at the service station and people used it.

There were gangs after Anna who would take her - yet she wanted to be in the ward which she was for one week.

She was transferred later on to an involuntary ward - they had a plan to put her there after a while.

As soon as she got into the ward. She was picked up by an older man and she was taken away - they had no say and it was such a disappointment; they were horrified.

“Why weren’t we involved?" She wasn’t capable of making a decision - the guy took her for that reason - he was a security guide.

He was known through a carers’ group - hours of respite so John and Mary had time to themselves.

Then the older man and Anna had a romantic relationship.

Saturday night in the middle of winter - very angry about not being able to go home.

DIdn’t speak to Mary for a few weeks - neither did Jim.

In the emergency ward again - admitted under the Mental Health Act.

If you meet her there you will be able to see her. Mary was excited because she would see Anna again.

the SG said it’s not visiting hours? You’re not allowed here?

Mary had to go away - nothing she could do - one more disappointment.

Flash forward a few days: when she went to the psychiatric ward during visiting hours.

There was lots of coughing and microphone feedback.

There was a guy on shift and got to know Anna - secure psychiatric care - he would do anything and everything she could.

What a predicament - she couldn’t look after herself.

“I need to stay here. I need the help they are giving” the PiC - “you can’t have a bed just because you want it”.

Go to a boarding house - go to Jim’s place. Things were stolen at boarding houses and Anna felt unsafe for that reason.

the PiC that night - “Can’t you keep her?”

“If you care so much about your daughter, why don’t you take her home”?

Mary had other people to consider - Jim had to kick her out.

Briefly describe the time Anna lived at the older gentleman’s house - the man who ended up being killed.

She had an endless supply of guys she knew - they met at detox - he knew a place in the outer suburbs - older man sublet his rooms - Anna ended up there.

It was an interesting place - it was in disarray - a vibrant community around this older man.

Mary came to know the O[lder]M[an] quite well. He had a lot of very close friends who spent time in the kitchen watching SBS and yelling in various tongues and drinking lots of sweet white wine.

Mary mentions in her statement - how many times the guys called the police to stop Anna attacking them?

It was at least twice that she knows about. They called the police - they didn’t retaliate.

She’d shown - she could be strong and violent - that window when she was an anorexic teenager.

She had this powerful anger - she wanted this house when she was quite stable - she wanted the guys to clean it- she got violent when she wouldn’t.

Mary got to know the guys - this girl doesn’t need to be arrested, said one guy.

She didn’t receive any treatment - Anna herself spoke about being afraid of her violent outbursts.

She called Mary - ‘I can’t believe it Mum” - she said his name - what am I going to do? - she knew she wasn’t in control of herself.

We couldn’t get it and she couldn’t get it.

22 November 2015

Anna was pregnant - four months pregnant - she had really tried to do the right thing because she wanted the baby and to get healthy.

She tried not to drink or do drugs.

Lots of voices in her head - synthetic marijuana - they told her awful things and never went away.

Alcohol and prescription medication too - she tried not to use these substances.

She ran out of weed and cigarettes.

Katie did her prescriptions for Anna - she never used it as it was supposed to - she did take it to sleep.

Her brain just imploded.

A call from the police - expected a “dead call”.

It was a “killed someone else’ call.

That time on she has been in custody the last three and a half years as of July 2019.

She serves 17 years - 13 years non-parole.

“As it turns out that prison life is better for Anna than I hoped”.

Partly because she has structure imposed on her.

High dose of antipsychotics and Lithium and antidepressants.

She feels she is actually learning to have relationships.

No-one asks her about her drivers licence or jobs - she does prison jobs.

She can work on how to get along with other people.

The relationship we all have - she can relate to her sister as a sister rather than as a carer.

She could never have a conversation - she talks about her interests. Wait and try to bring her out.

And she is very well-liked in prison and they get help with various English assignments.

Given your experience - what changes do you see necessary? [commissioner question]

Think about children and they can actually have a mental illness - it didn’t occur at the time.

Quiet children who don’t demand attention. - when they get into crisis there is an approach where families can be listened to.

They were never listened to or consulted.

Dismissed as drama queens - exaggerating the extent of Anna’s problems.

As a family there should have been much better accomodation - crisis and longer in a secure environment.

Strange people and getting drunk.

Stabilise and rational decisions.

Anna will always need support to be an active contributing member of our society.

Other people in her position - it will cost a lot of money.

A lot of money to be in prison because of similar issues.

Pershall is excused.

Commissioner question:

Dual diagnosis of mental illness and addiction - what would improve in these scenarios?

Three years ago when they were trying to get help they found it extremely frustrating that they tried to get her in the residential centre for those with addictions; she as turned away because she had mental illness.

She found a place in a park and she was relieved. She got a few residential weeks of care.

She might not have enough Seroquel - she stuffed it into her underpants.

Against the rules - you can’t be here.

She was turned away from both places because of the thing they didn’t treat.

May the witness be excused?


Lunch break. [fifteen minutes at the top of the next hour].

Friday, October 13, 2017

#31for21 Who is #mentalhealthweek for? And Jane Harper's FORCE OF NATURE

Today is the #DisabilityThinking #linkup. Thank you Andrew Pulrang and everyone who contributes.
Ω
Who is Mental Health Week for?

Mental Health Week is for workers. Writers. Artists. Scientists. Landscape designers. Singers. Songwriters. Theatre critics. Logisticians. Musicians. Cleaners. Cooks. Chefs. Food services personnel. Pensioners. Traders. Universal Basic Incomers. Gig economists.

It's for leaders. Managers. Executives. Activists. Advocates. Wise minds.

Mental Health Week is for followers. The people on Twitter. Facebook. WeChat. QChat. ICQ. Blogger. Google Plus. LiveJournal. VKontakt.

Mental Health Week is for psychologists. Psychiatrists. General practitioners. Specialists. Receptionists and administrative personnel.

Mental Health Week is for people in the street. Transient residents. Migrants. Refugees. Asylum seekers. Your street press vendor like The Big Issue.

Mental Health Week is for social workers. Independent living centre people. Peer supporters. Sex educators. Certified. Licensed.

Mental Health Week is for children. Teens. Tweens. Babies. The unborn and those yet to be born.

Mental Health Week is for senior citizens.

Mental Health Week is for survivors. Veterans. Travellers. Backpackers. People who have been through torture. People who have been through terrorism. People who endure through war and through peace.

Mental Health Week is for animals and plants. Service animals. Psychiatric service dogs. Trauma dogs. Hearing dogs. Guide Dogs and Seeing Eye dogs. Birds. Insects. Amoeba.

Mental Health Week is for sportspeople. Footballers. Tennis players. Mind sports people. Archers. Canoeists. Kayakers. Sailors. Rugby players. Wheelchair sports. Golfers.

Mental Health Week is for culturally and linguistically diverse people whether you speak the 800 languages and dialects of Papua New Guinea or a world language like Mandarin or Spanish or Portuguese or Arabic. It's for Africans. Melanesians. Polynesians. Micronesians. North and South Americans. Central Americans. Australians. Europeans. Asians.

Mental Health Week is for all the people who have died in the service of mental health or so that we may have life and lives.

Mental Health Week is for prisoners and criminals and those in the judicial systems.

Mental Health Week is for Freudians; Jungians; Adlerians; behaviourists; cognitivists; humanists; eclectics and those whose practises come under many names and none at all. It's for the agnostics and the gnostics; the intuitives and the sensors and even the censors.

Mental Health Week is for disabled people / people with disabilities.

Mental Health Week is for families. Cousins. Siblings. Great-grand-parents. Chosen families.

Mental Health Week is for friends.

Mental Health Week is for haters.

Mental Health Week is for past; present; future.

Mental Health Week is for people who are silent and people who speak out.

Mental Health Week is for all the feels: grief. shame. excitement. agitation. calmness.

If Mental Health Week can not be for everybody; then it is for nobody.

Mental Health Week is for you. It's for me. It's for us. It's for them. It's for they and she and he and sir and peer and ou.